Honesty

I know; it's late. I will go to sleep right after this, but there's an important message I really need to share first. Abandon hope all ye who came for a joke. Try back tomorrow. Tonight I'm putting straight-forwardness first.

I just wanted to say that honesty is one of the most important steps in the world. We try to hide who we are, we drink alcohol to try to get rid of the pain (even though it never, ever heals our pain in the long run), we bend to the norms of society to fit in, we wear gaudy outfits and hide behind a mask of lies to disguise ourselves to others, but, most tragically, to ourselves. The trouble isn't just that we hide from others, it's that we're always hiding from ourselves.

We can't do that. And when I say we can't, what I mean to say is we can, of course we can, we do it all the time, but if we want real healing, if we want to change our ways, if we want to know who we are and what we want to do with our lives, we have to strip away the outer layer of disgusting stuff (and no, I'm not referring to your clothes, and if you thought I was, then you might want to consider doing laundry soon).

Some of us aren't very intelligent. Some of us have alcohol problems. Some of us have eating disorders, chocolate disorders, rapping diss orders, whatever. We all feel alone and trapped and afraid, not just once, but many times throughout our lives. None of us are perfect. But that's what matters: none of us are perfect. We all have pain, stress, anxiety. Some of us have more than others, none of us have any truly reliable method of comparing.

What we need to do is be honest with each other.

We try and hide who we are, to others and to ourselves. But that traps us. If we run and hide from our fears, fearing shame, it doesn't heal us; we just burn up inside, alone in the darkness. We have to stop running away from the path; we need to start looking for it again. We need to have the courage to tell people what we really think. We need to have the courage to look in the mirror and look past the jewelry and clothes and appearances and see who we are.

And then we have to tell people about it.

We have to admit to others who we are, even though it's hard, even though it's painful, even though it feels like your world will end if anyone were to find out the part of you that you've been trying to hide. And people will judge you for it. They might hate you for it. But by saying that, you set yourself free. In honesty is freedom. And if we be honest with each other, we can turn to others for support, and bond with each other, even in situations that don't involve Super Smash Brothers (even though that's pretty fantastic, too). And we can look at the mirror with acceptance, having accepted ourselves. We have to admit who we are, despite the pressure not to do so, and accept that as part of who we are, forever, even though it's not what we want, even though it's not what we would like, because it's us, and if we can't accept ourselves, we'll never find any form of contentment.

They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to breaking an addiction. There's also a verse in the Bible, "[t]herefore confess to your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" -James 5:16. Finally, I'd like to quote the powerful movie The Incredibles, "[y]ou always say to be true to yourself [...]."

If anyone wants to talk about anything at all, message me, or ask if I can talk to you, or contact me in any way. I'll listen to anything you have to say (unless it's an analysis of Twilight).

Sincerely Sincerely,

    John Khouri