Silence and Sports

First of all, I saw X-Men: Days of Future Past at the Oxford premiere two Thursdays ago, and it was amazing. Best movie of the year.

Hipster Wolverine at the X-Men Oxford premiere

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to talk sports.

Last Saturday, there were Dancesport Cuppers. It was a ballroom dancing competition that included people who didn't have to be on the varsity ballroom dance team, which was nice. I was partnered by the Oriel captain with this girl (again, I don't use names without very explicit permission):

The four categories of dance were Waltz (elegant), Cha-Cha-Cha (sexy), Quickstep (fast), and Jive (cheeky). We did jive, which has a basic step that's pretty much just the basic step for West Coast Swing, which I've learnt over the years from having well-chosen friends,  except that you always start on the back step and you need to lift your feet higher when stepping.

Waltz

Cha

Quickstep (Oriel's team was tiny this year and so
we didn't have a couple doing Quickstep)

JIVE!!! :P

The dances everyone did were prepared by themselves in advance. Every round except our last one, though, I fumbled and ended up having to recover from a missed move by improvising our way to a part of the choreographed dance we could make it to without looking unnatural! The couple from Oriel doing Cha made it to the finals, where they performed solo in front of everyone; my partner and I made it to semifinals! It was a ton of fun doing and I'm glad I did it. I'm going to try to do it again next year!

Now if only I knew that one freshman who can Lindy....

Even though my partner and I didn't make it to finals, we WERE apparently the most photogenic couple, so there's that:

Speaking of sports, this week was the big Oxford rowing competition! Each college was pitted against the other in a weird "bumping" system I'm not entirely sure I can explain adequately. That's why we have Wikipedia.

Whatever the system was, Oooooorieeeeeel!!!! Head of the River 2014!!!

I thought this was a protest at first, but then I realized it was the rowing team
carrying a wooden boat leading most of Oriel College back to college from the river

To celebrate our win, our rowing team took the boat proudly and lifted it to the heavens in the main Oriel courtyard!

Oooooorieeeeeel!!

And then they smashed it into the ground!!

...So much for next year...

And then they set it on fire.

I explained to several people there how it wouldn't have taken an entire hour
to burn if they'd used gasoline to help the process along.

The rowing team jumped across the burning boat a few times together.

If this were Mexico, we would've saved the boat for the last evening, after all the exams
were over, and made it into a massive bonfire. Am I right, A-Team?

I learned later that it wasn't actually the boat they used. Those are made of plastic. Apparently we had so much confidence in our rowing team that we bought the boat ahead of time. I guess you can do that when the team captain is (apparently) an Olympic medalist in rowing.

I noticed a sign on the lawn had been trampled over in all the excitement, and I took some time to commiserate with it in regards to its abandonment.

Instead of watching the game, I had been competing in Water Polo Cuppers! The night before, someone posted asking for volunteers to replace the members of the team who told her that night that they would have to row instead, and I, being the good sport that I am, volunteered. I felt confident that all my time spent working out in the gym, running long distance, and doing series of high-intensity sprints would make me in good shape for most sports. I'd certainly found that to be the case when playing a casual game of football two weeks prior. Sounds reasonable, right?

In fact, I nearly drowned several times. Perhaps it was because my legs were already really tired from the long distance running and gym work in the preceding days, but I had more difficulty staying afloat in the pool than I've ever had in my entire life. Someone suggested it might be because I've gained ten or fifteen pounds of muscle since I've last swum, much of which is upper body muscle, and as such, it costs me a lot more effort to stay afloat, which is the excuse I'm going with, because it's the only one that doesn't make me sound really out of shape. In any case, I'm glad there's no rule against holding on to the edge for extended periods of time, or I might not be alive to write this post today.

We lost, by the way.

I'm currently running a fundraiser to help support a friend of mine who shall go unnamed (as with everyone I mention in this blog) and her mission in Birmingham. The big "hook" was that for a day, I would finally shut up; no speaking, texting, messaging, sign language, or even nodding for twenty-four hours. I also used the promise of brownies and brownie recipes to incentivize people to donate (much like GLAdOS from Portal). We've raised quite a bit of money. I don't know if we're going to reach the goal of six hundred pounds (and I agreed that if we reach that goal, I would have to get my chest waxed), but I'm definitely glad I can help support my friend in this way.

Good grief; I actually do appear to be turning into Wolverine...

The day itself was fairly quiet ( :P ). I spent as much time out of my room as possible so that people noticed the admittedly huge difference. It was really boring most of the time. At one point I regrettably had to resort to a brief nod because I was buying something from Pret a Manger, and the woman behind the counter repeatedly asked me if I was eating away, and she wasn't taking a smile as an answer.

Meanwhile, the employees at Tesco's all dressed up in '70s garb one day to encourage shoppers to donate to fight skin cancer. After seeing this guy wearing a suit that I actually own, I felt compelled to donate:

I went up to this guy and asked him, "Excuse me, sir? Are you feeling ill?"
Confused, he responded, "No, I don't think so. Why do you ask?" To this, I replied,
"Because you look as though you have some Saturday Night Fever."

Finally, I'd like to introduce you all to a friend of mine and an avid reader of my blog. As you well know, longtime readers, I never use someone's name on this blog unless the person specifically gives me permission, something that has never before happened (because I never actually ask). But in this case, he actually requested a shout-out in my blog, and so I am now obliging. I'd like to go on the record of saying, though, that I first made him say the phrase, "I, [his name], give you permission to use my name on your blog, The Across-the-Pond Life."

Allow me to introduce you to...Will!!!!!

He seemed very surprised when I picked him up.

Going forward, I've got two more weeks until my first prelim, then I've got two weeks of prelims until I'm done with the year! I've been seeing my friends post photos of going to the beach for two weeks now, but I'm staying positive and not-at-all-jealous (maybe a little).

And CONGRATULATIONS, TKA CLASS OF 2014!!!   (Mark 16:15)

Happy hunting!

   John Khouri, Polo Wearer But Not Player

Broken

I apologize for the recent lack of postage on this here blog. The reason was because my iPhone wouldn't charge. I plugged it in and it would turn on, but it wouldn't charge. I've had to make due with my dinky little 00s phone I bought specifically for England, but I wasn't desperate enough to use the pictures I took with THAT phone.

Finally, though, I got my phone repaired at a shop, where the owner told me the problem was that the charger was broken. It was such a relief. What's really interesting, though, is what I did when I thought my iPhone was going to die. At 13% battery, I tried to update iOS in a last-ditch attempt to get it working again. I eventually was told, though, that I couldn't update it without the iPhone being plugged in. At 6% battery, my iPhone was going to die for good, or so I thought at the time. So I powered it up and clicked on an app called "The Lorax."

You see, last year, when Knightshine was competing at a regional show choir event, I was sharing a hotel room with some of my best friends. We had an hour or two to kill. Earlier on, I had found an app called "Green Eggs and Ham" which not only narrated the story to you, but allowed you to record your own narration, and that intrigued me. So I invited a friend of mine to make our own hysterically funny narration during that time, and it was awesome. He wasn't interested in doing another, though (due to video games), but we still had some time to kill before we competed, so I invited another friend of mine to narrate The Lorax. Good times.

That friend of mine is dead now. Every so often, I listen to the narration, remembering a time when he was almost back to his silly old self, and it's nice to hear (and sometimes quite funny). So when I realized my iPhone was going to die, I went to the book app on my iPhone, went to an app I'd downloaded onto my computer that allowed me to record lectures (I teach off and on), and recorded all his lines (as the titular Lorax) as fast as I could as a lecture. I finished just in time.

Anyhow, thought that was worth talking about.

What else has been happening for the past two weeks? An old friend of mine from TKA, alias Phogey Jarblestein (I don't use names on this blog without explicit permission), is in Oxford studying abroad for a month, and I sat with him at St. Aldate's this morning. I'm also going to be competing in the "jive" dance category at Dancesport Cuppers (basically the Hogwarts Quidditch Cup but at Oxford and for dancing).

As for everything else, I'll sum it up with a series of photos.

Playing croquet in Third Quad

Croquet player? …Or ICE CLIMBER!!!!

More croquet, 2 on 1 (I was the "1" and was a total n00b)

I saw this at Oriel and thought, "There's probably a head crab in there.
Where's my crowbar?" #halflifeworldproblems

Stand-Up Comedy Night during Arts Week. Unfortunately, I was probably
the worst comic act there that night, partially owing to my unpreparedness.

The duck couple of Oriel cameth, and they enjoy napping on the First Quad
lawn, in the partially shade of the sign that says "STAY OFF THE LAWN" 

I've started going to the standard Oriel Library to study (worth it!!).
This desk hidden in an isolated corner is my favorite place in the school,
but you have to get up pretty early to nab the spot.

 

...I think I might need some new sunglasses...

…Yuppers…

I've lived in Peru for over a month, and I'm not convinced Pret a Manger
has a clue what "Peruvian Chicken" is. I remember the chicken in Peru
(my dad and I lived at a farm there, and the chicken roamed freely), and they
definitely didn't taste like that.

These nachos sounded so good on the menu that I gave in and
ordered them. Unfortunately, they tasted even worse than they
look in this photo, and that's saying something.

This is possibly the worst food choice I have ever made in my
entire life. But also quite possibly the best. Mmmmmmm.

Finally, here's a link to the homily (brief 5-8 minute sermon) I gave at Oriel College Chapel two weeks back: http://www.oriel.ox.ac.uk/content/1st-may-2014

I'm honestly pretty tired and plan to wake up early tomorrow morning to go to the gym before lectures, but it's amazing sometimes how something that seemed so broken can be fixed, isn't it? Hope is not always lost. Not always.

Peace,

   John Khouri, Sunglasses Pirate

Oxford is Basically a Zombie Movie

You face overwhelming odds, no one gets any sleep, too many people demand too much of your brain, and everyone is really pale. 'Nuff said.

Behold the zombie march.

At 6:00 in the morning last Wednesday, most of Oxford woke up super early to listen to the Magdalen (pronounced "maudlin," for whatever reason) Chapel Choir sing on "May Day," the first day of May and the beginning of spring or something.

It was kind of like a rock concert, except less screamy and more weary.

I give them credit; it's hard to sing high notes so early in the morning, but they pulled it off. I don't know if it was worth waking up so early in the morning, but I think I can safely say it was worth going to see a woman in a cow suit dancing to the chapel choir songs.

Advertising G&D's? Or just another cow enthusiast? You pick.

Cow-lady passed out coupons for G&D's, an incredible bagel/ice cream fusion chain, and so we went there afterwards. It's nice waking up so early in the morning. Pretty much impossible for me most mornings, but nice. You get to be thinking properly for the rest of the day, assuming you actually got a good night's sleep.

At G&D's.

I still haven't gotten the hang of the weather yet. Sometimes, it's almost as sunny as a nice day in California; later that day, it will be raining "like a rat out of hell," as a friend of mine is fond of saying. I don't know what it means, but it's cool, brah.

I swear, it was sunny when I left the Maths Institute 15 minutes ago...

There are also people taking full advantage of being allowed on the Third Quad lawn to play croquet during the Trinity Term by playing seemingly 24/7. I swear, every time I walk past the lawn, I see the same people playing. They're probably up to something.

Ah, the smell of procrastination. Not that I'm not a hypocrite in that.

Still, though, I'm actually really doubling down on work this term, though. I'm actually doing twice the amount of work I was doing the last couple terms by working almost constantly and only goofing off when I literally cannot do any more work. It's going fairly well, I think; I'm in the process of memorizing all the thirty-something algorithms we covered in lectures and I'm halfway done categorizing the Linear Algebra key concepts. I really need all the extra preparation, since I didn't do very well last term what with the six classes and all and near-total lack of sleep toward the end.

I gave a homily (basically a sermon) last Thursday at Oriel College Chapel. I prepared well for it, and it went pretty much exactly as I intended. People laughed at the right moments and listened intently during the rest. My secret was that I have ADHD, and if speakers don't use humor in sermons or in lectures, I often find it very difficult to pay attention. As such, I knew that if I would listen intently to a sermon, there wouldn't be anyone else who couldn't. So I never felt I had to be all serious-like just because I was in a thousand year-old university; I just wrote the homily from the heart, and it flowed out with humor naturally blended in. Organic; freshly-squeezed and full of zing.

I'm really grateful to God it worked out, and that He used me in that way. My mom pointed out afterward that it was interesting to think of all the famous theologians/saints/professors who had stood where I was standing and given sermons/homilies. That is pretty cool, but one really ought to follow suit rather than stand in awe of the situation and/or people who have gone before, since the only one that really, truly matters who preached before was Jesus, and I mentioned him once or twice. Maybe more. I also mentioned Tolkien.

I've recently started the Half-Life series (so good!!), and I'm already almost done with the series, but I'll try not to stay up too late tonight!

Dios les bendiga,

   John Khouri, Croquet Hooligan

Uncertainty

I gave up the Maemone diet. I was feeling ill Thursday evening and I suspected I was getting all the nutrients I needed. Since I don't know any nutritionists, I decided to just watch what I put in my body and try to make healthier choices. Looking back on it, though, it might have been the somewhat dodgy-tasting sausage I'd eaten for breakfast. But no matter.

Before I gave up the diet, I made my first investment in my future; I bought a saucepan, a pot (for cooking, not for smoking), a bowl, and one of those big plastic bowls with holes in it for putting pasta in. I don't know what it's called, so I'll call it the fwerryxior [FWEHR eey sohr]. It wasn't very cheap, but I'll be able to make pasta (and sauce) instead of going to a store for food and have cheaper and potentially yummier and healthier meals in the future, and eventually it will pay for itself. It'll be a challenge lugging it across the border, though, so future wife? You listening? We're going to have to move to Oxford. So I can have my pot.

Step 1. Fill large pot with water.

Step 2. Boil large pot with water.

Step 3. Get some side-by-side buddy-cop-style pasta and pasta sauce boiling on. YEAAAAH!!!

Step 4: Pour pasta into the fwerryxior.

Step 5. Voila!

Step 6: Don't forget to take the sauce pan off the burner, too! 

(just kidding)

I had my collections, they didn't go nearly as well as I'd hoped considering how much time I'd spent studying. A friend of mine told me, though, that studying potential apparently improves more and more the closer you get to prelims, so that's something.

My reaction to collections

(actually a post-jog photo :P )

There was a bop last night, which was especially crazy since no one had any work after the collections (unless you do PPE…sorry, PPEists, that's horrible). No one got hurt, though, so it was a good bop. Some judge the quality of a bop by the quality of the songs,  I judge the quality of a bop by the quality of the injuries.

Apart from not drinking alcohol, this is the main reason why I'm never going to host
a pre-bop drinks meeting in my room in England. Believe it or not, that's not that messy by
pre-bop drinking standards. Only like nineteen bottles.

I just found out last night after bop that a very close and very old friend of mine (as I've said before, I don't use names on the blog) has chosen to become a firefighter! I am so incredibly proud of him for a variety of reasons. A big one would be because I have a lot of respect for firefighters because their job is literally to serve and protect people in the community, and one of things I love about my friend the most is that he, like me, is really passionate about service and helping others, and he has the perfect physical build for a firefighter as well, so I'm confident it will be an excellent fit for him.

Also, in these times of uncertainty amongst so many of my friends in terms of figuring out where God wants them to do with their lives, this guy has figured it out, and it's a job in service. Firefighting and being an EMT are the two professions for which I have the most respect for that reason. Finally, if I was on fire, and I could call any one of my friends in to help me put it out and get people to safety, I would absolutely pick this guy. Good on you, buddy :)

Yours,

   John Khouri, Fwerryxior Fixer-Upper

The Maemone Diet

I've returned to Oxford for Trinity Term. Only nine more weeks until a three-month break. Not a vacation, during which I still have to work, but an honest-to-goodness BREAK.

In the meantime, though, I've only two more days to study for collections on Thursday and Friday. Ack!

I arrived at Heathrow Airport yesterday at around 3:00 P.M. local time, which was 8:00 A.M. for my body. My trick with getting my circadian rhythm readjusted as fast as possible was to stay up on the overnight flight and pull an all-nighter, followed by staying up until at least 10:00 P.M. local time, so I pulled a day-and-a-half-er.

Me feeling cool in my $4.00 mirror shades, arriving back at Oriel College.

Me having just been completely drenched by the rain that awaited me shortly after my arrival.

It rained so hard yesterday that I literally have not seen such intense rain since my second-grade year in California. I remember because there was a party at Loyola Elementary that night which was The Velveteen Rabbit-themed and I had my first scone (which rhymes with "cone"; to read more about this unfortunate issue, click on this link: http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2013/03/how-do-you-say-scone/), which I deemed untasty. It had raisins in it and didn't taste nearly as good as southern biscuits, and so I was disappointed, since my mum had told me they were English biscuits.

I eventually suited up to carry all my boxes out of storage.
Mom and Dad, you were right, I did end up needing a jacket this term.

And as I got totally soaked, I laughed a good-natured laugh, because nature is good by definition, stop trying to destroy our planet, ok?! Seriously, though, I honestly did laugh, because all I could think of was, "Well, it's about time." Finally got some proper English weather and not just some boring clouds. You may not have known this, but I love the rain.

I went to sleep on time and I woke up at 6:30 like I planned, but - jetlagged as I was - I chose to go back to bed instead of going on a run. I woke up at 11:30. It's cool, though, brah.

Inspired by a friend of mine who-shall-not-be-named-since-I-don't-use-names-on-this-blog, I've changed my eating habits. I call it the Maemone Diet. It basically entails eating no gluten and nothing with more than three grams of sugar in it. It's amazing how much that excludes: fast food, fried food, chocolate (ohhhh chocolate), and most other desserts (although why anyone would want to eat a dessert that doesn't have chocolate in it is beyond me). It also means that to get my daily amount of carbs, I have to go to the gluten-free section (or "Free-From" section, as is said in here in the U of the K).

For snacks, I now dip carrots in peanut butter that doesn't contain added sugar.
In case you were wondering, peanut butter is delicious with or without extra sugar.

Apart from peanut butter, carrots, and my trademark (but not actually, technically) ham, spinach, and gluten-free bread sandwiches, I discovered today while on the hunt for food that MISSION BURRITO sells gluten-free food! Woo-hoo!!! I can only get tacos, but STILL! God is good :)

I finally finished unpacking all of my boxes, so I'm good to go! I'm praying for a successful third term and hopefully a gluten-free one! I'm going to go to bed now and try to get up early tomorrow for a run.

God bless,

   John Khouri, former chocoholic

Body Energy Crisis and Learning to Say "Yes" to the 'Stache

Welcome back to my blog! It's been two weeks since last I blogged, so my blogginess is a bit buggy. Don't let that bug you, though. Blog.

I made a controversial decision today. Yesterday I was like this...

...And then I was like this...

...And now I'm like this...

Yup. I decided to shave this morning. Last Sunday, I planned to shave in stages and get photos of various different styles. I would've gone from full beard to Wolverine to ninja chops to mustache to clean-shaven. Unfortunately, I had work then, and I had work today, so I decided to just go with a mustache.

I'm leaving it, too, for a day or two, anyhow. I know it's funny-looking, but I want to experiment with facial hair before I enter a relationship, at which point I'll have to always be clean-shaven or always have a specific facial hairstyle (depending on the girl's preference). I might actually go for the full Civil War look before shaving, if I'm so motivated.

It's not as if I'm the first person to have a mustache, anyway. Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Walter White, Freddie Mercury, Borat, Captain Hook, Vlad the Impaler, Saddam Hussein, Ron Burgundy, Wario, Genghis Khan. They all had mustaches!

...Don't worry, it'll probably be gone by the end of the week. :D

The reason I've not been blogging recently is that for the past two weeks, I've had difficulty going to bed. A large part of the problem has been that I've been up snacking until two in the morning. My parents sent me a large amount of sweets and I've been unable to find a good time to give them out, so I've been eating of them. I finally got so angry at myself for eating so much one night that I went running for an hour (and this was just after midnight) and then put all the candy outside my room.

Unfortunately, that tactic lasted about two days.

Finally, though, I posted on the Oriel JCR Facebook page, saying "I've got chocolate. If you want free chocolate, come to 27-3." I was out of candy within the hour!!

One of the cool things that I got in the mail, though, apart from more American peanut butter and too much candy, was some very special Goldfish. When I graduated from King's, my parents gave these Goldfish to me as a gift (blue and gold were my school colors). Unfortunately, I'm a sentimental old foolish young man, and I didn't want to eat them. Having been sent them, though, I had no choice.

Interesting tidbit for you non-Americans: I'm not actually wearing a tuxedo in that photo. It's a prop that only has part of a sleeve the front bit of a tuxedo, as well as the bow tie. You take twenty seconds to put it on, then you get your photo taken for the yearbook, and then that's it. It's interesting.

Speaking of America, I met some Americans studying at Oxford for this term/year. Apparently I have a North Carolinian accent now. The reason is because the only Americans I hear every single day are Rhett and Link, who live in California but moved there recently from North Carolina. I also probably listen to them more than I listen to anyone else on any given day, apart from maybe a lecturer, so I've really been picking up their accents. The word "y'all" is an extremely efficient and friendly word, so that's an extremely useful thing to pick up. Pay attention, Britain :D

I discovered Oxford's manly-man shop. It's pretty dang cool. They've got everything in there a man needs...

...to look like a bachelor!

...to look like a history professor!

...to look like Ebenezer Scrooge!

I got a good pair of blue suspenders to complete the classy suit I found in Oxfam. It looks pretty swell :)

I've a few miscellaneous photos, so here they are:

No, I'm sorry, Pret a Manger, but meat should really not be purple.

North Carolina's state motto, that is.

This is what my room looks like when I do my laundry. I just leave everything out
flat to dry for a few hours before I put it all away.

Professor X apparently got his professorship from Oxford!
I saw X-Men: First Class semi-recently, and they had a shot from
this angle of Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence (well, their
characters) leaving the Radcliffe after the ceremony!

Well, I think that's about it. Again, I'm really sorry it took so long! If you checked more than twice for a new post in the past two weeks, give yourself 176 JP. Pray that I get on a better sleep schedule soon!

Y'all's evermore,

    John Khouri, the Monopoly Man